i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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