I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
