You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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