I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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