Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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