maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It's blow job season.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
