Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
