Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
