checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
