im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
