i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
PANTIES FOUND
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
