dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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