the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
