he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
