If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
