drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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