A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize