I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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