so explain again why im purple
no
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
