my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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