Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
