I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
