Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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