hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
me + whiskey = a bad person
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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