I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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