..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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