We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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