the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
