Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
