The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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