She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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