He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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