i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
You left your phone here
Wait...
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