Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
