I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
