rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize