His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize