if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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