Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I wish you could order shots online.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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