did you get engaged???
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
