Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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