if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
