did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
