Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
