There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
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you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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