can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
two words: eviction party
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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