found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Randomize
