can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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