Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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