You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
