I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Randomize
