I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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