The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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