Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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