You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
