somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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