Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she told me i tasted like america
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
