Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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