On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
