i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize