Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
