...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We left the knife in your bed.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
