The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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