Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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