i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
why is half of my head shaved?
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