You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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