Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
