we're blogging at a bar
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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